Why I Breastfed For Fifteen Months! (Blog Train)

I have written before, about my breastfeeding journey and how I turned from breastfeeding noob to expert in no time. It is relatively easy to turn into a breastfeeding expert if you put your heart and mind into it and really, if I can do, I am pretty sure a lot of women can do it too. Read my post on how you can prepare yourself for the early weeks of breastfeeding.

Today I am not going to share about how or why I went into breastfeeding since you all know that already from the post I have written before. I am going to share about how long I breastfed for, and why.

With both my boys, I breastfed for fifteen months before I made the decision to wean them off. I did not have a shortage of milk flow, neither did the boys grow sick of my milk. In fact, I breastfed them for so long that it felt so natural to have their faces pressed against my breast, and feel the special bond that breastfeeding had to offer. Each day as they grew, it got harder and harder to make the decision to wean them off. As mothers, all we really wanted was for our baby to stay a baby for as long as possible. Yes, all we want is for them to stay in our arms, without any struggles, and definitely no nipple biting or pulling.

There were three major decisions that made me pull the plug on breastfeeding at fifteen months, and it pained my heart in both instances when my boys turned of age. I never pumped once in my fifteen months of breastfeeding, and insisted on latching on for every drop of milk they drank, so I think my reasons for weaning them off are legit considering this fact.

1. The power struggle
Both my boys turned into little rascals the moment they turned one. Every breastfeeding session felt like a tug of war session turned nasty. With my first son, he was a big fella and holding him in my arms, and on my lap felt like I was already carrying a ton of weight. This son of mine, is a bigger than average boy, and holding him against my breast for milk literally drained me out energy each time. Well, it would have helped if he was cooperative and stayed still while I breastfed him, but that was not even an option. He would fling his arms, grab at my face, shirt, pants, chair, and whatever he could get his hands on. He would struggle as I held him tight, and he would kick his heels in the air and give a smirk as though this power struggle was fun.

My second boy was the same, only more active than the first. He was not as heavy nor big, but definitely double the trouble. This little tike hardly could sit through a fifteen minute milk session, because his elder brother would be luring him for some fun, without mommy. I noticed this lack of milk interest came soon after they started walking and then running. Running away from me to be exact.

2. The Gender Counts
If I had a girl, my breastfeeding stint would probably have been a longer one. The fact that I am blessed with two boys, was also a major decision why I decided to pull the plug when they were fifteen months. As children grow, they get more observant, as well start to verbalize their thoughts. As a woman who chose to cover up myself modestly in accordance to religion needs, I also chose to remain modestly dressed the moment my boys started to be aware of the female body. I know people are going to argue with me, that they are my children and I really should not be concerned about being modestly dressed with my own children. Like I said, this is a personal choice.

When the boys were fifteen months, they became more aware of the world around them. Our breastfeeding sessions started to differ too. Each time they suckled, or drank, their fingers would also travel upward and trace the outline of my breast in fun. I wanted to draw the line, then, that private parts should remain private. They were, after all, learning to explore their own bodies too. And we were teaching them the difference between them boys, and girls. So if not now to extend their learning that boys and girls are different, then when? Again, I reiterate this is my personal choice. Probably, if I had a girl, my breastfeeding journey would have been different with different decisions to consider.

3. Instilling Independence
Lastly, the major consideration that had me wean my children off breastfeeding at fifteen months was the idea of getting my children independent. I am no advocate of attachment parenting, although I still strongly stand firm that I love my children very, very, very much. Just that, different parents have different parenting styles, and my parenting views strongly lean against child independence. Not because I want them off my back, but because I believe children however young loves independence. They love the freedom of exploring by themselves the endless possibilities the world has to offer. By stopping breastfeeding, my children were allowed to sleep, play and feed independently. They no longer had to cling on to me, or feel anxious when I was not around. Of course, if they had wanted to latch on, I would be more than willing to give. But they did not. Children this age actually love being away from us, it gives them the liberty to be themselves but if we did not know when to pull away, then they probably will need us to stay around for much longer.

My children never cried when I weaned them off breastfeeding nor co-sleeping. It all happened naturally, and I think it is all about readiness that plays a huge factor in getting these done successfully. If your child is not ready, please do not force or impose on him. Let him show you his readiness before you make these very important decisions. My children were ready to move on, and I suppose it was my calling to make it happen.

They are now 4 years old, and 26 months old respectively. We find different ways of bonding now, like one just has to scream "family hugggg" and all of us would come running from different corners of the house just to give one big family hug. We also bond through play, reading, and sometimes the occasional co-sleeping (as and when the boys feel like). I would like myself to mature as a mother who knows when to let go, so I reckon these decisions were very important and essential to the kind of mother I would like to be to my children.

---

Tomorrow, Summer will be sharing her breastfeeding story on her blog A Happy Mum. A mother of two lovely girls, Summer is a media executive turned SAHM from Singapore who stepped into the gratifying journey of motherhood during her four-year stay in Sweden. Having stayed in a land where breastfeeding is strongly advocated and where there is no social stigma about nursing in public, she strongly believes that breast milk is one of the best gifts she can give to her children. Read more about her journey on A Happy Mum, a place where she blogs about motherhood, babies, kids, love, DIY crafts, travelling and all things happy.


Disclaimer: *Please note that this blog entry or train is no indicative or judgement of parenting. We intend not to discriminate nor judge, and neither is it indicative that longer or shorter breastfeeding means better or poor parenting.

This post is part of a Blog Train hosted by Madeline at MadPsychMum. Head on over to read the other breastfeeding stories by Singapore Mom Bloggers!

Mom at War, presenting my germinzer toolbox!

The first day we were told our boys had HFMD, I tightened my homemaker belt and started executing a full detailed plan on how this virus is not going to thrive in our household!

Presenting my handy germinizer toolbox! The kids were rather amused that I borrowed their toolbox for my project-kill-all-germs but they do not mind at all since it is for a good cause! In fact, the boys very conveniently help themselves to the sanitizers as and when they feel like keeping the germs away.

5 Essential items in our household to combat the HFMD virus:
1. Parklon santizer for mats and toys, organic and non-toxic, perfect for keeping those toys clean everyday after play!
2. Farlin De-Mite Spray for linens and fabrics. Keeps their bedsheets clean and smelling fresh!
3. Lifebuoy antibacterial bodywash. Nothing like a germination shower!
4. Dettol hand santizer, handy for all situations (after sneeze, before meals etc)
5. PH 2.5 mouthwash. This is the same kind of water that dentists use to cleanse our mouths of bacteria. It was given very kindly by our neighbour and my boys are ever so happy to spray their mouths clean with it!

I feel like a mom battling war in her own home, but at the current moment, keeping my home clean and free from germs and viruses is my number one priority!

More time for things that Matter - Diapers that make a happy baby!

The whiff of a newborn baby, the moments of the days and years that come after as well as the process of the everyday that made everything so special never really ends in a mother's diary. Everything is recorded, and shall be kept vivid and clear in her memory for as long as she lives. 

I remember being a new parent, and I was overwhelmed with all the new things I had to pick up and learn. There was the breastfeeding to cope with, the diapering to learn about, and especially the bond that I had to develop with my newborn. It was never easy, but somehow having the right kind of consultations, the right kind of advice and the absolute right type of products made it all just easy to grasp.

With our first child almost a toddler, it was even easier the second time around. There was no need for trial and error no more, as we were confident of the products we had chosen to use with him to work with our second born too. Gone were the days we had to try which brand that was the best not just for the comfort of our child, but also goes easy on our wallet, for necessities like diapers are used so much so often that we really needed to find one that worked for us all.

We finally settled for pack of diapers that was "The One" - Drypers Wee Wee Dry!

Price matters!
My husband is quite the scrooge. He could spend all day at the supermarket comparing the prices of things. If you must know, he did his homework with almost all the diaper brands, and could tell you which was the most and least expensive of them all. Luckily for us, the diaper brand we chose for our children worked out to be not just reasonably priced, but also the cheapest of the lot. Best part of all, quality and comfort was never compromised in the equation, which made us all the more contented with it.

Absorbency is key!
Drypers, the diaper that is absolutely brilliant at absorbency, to help last through the long nights for when the baby slept through. Our baby was a 12hour-all nighter, and would sleep for twelve hours straight everyday so having a diaper that was essential enough to hold his urinal needs while we rested our minds was really almost like finding a needle in a haystack. I remember the first night we held our breaths and waited to see if it leaked, keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for better sleeping nights ahead. The morning after, the bed was dry and our baby woke up a happy baby. Needless to say, we were the happiest parents that morning.

Comfort and Quality
We all know how a cranky baby makes for cranky parents. And we all hope and pray that we never go down that road. Hearing horror stories of bad nappy rashes as well as itch and blisters happening around the soft baby flash of other babies make me cringe. Can you imagine how painful it is for babies to go through the trauma of having rash, or blisters at their inner thighs, or bottoms without even having the developmental ability to self-scratch? That is why, I am thankful to have found the one diaper that does not make my baby go through such trauma. Since we have been using Drypers and with their 100% breathable cloth-like cover, our baby has had a pretty pink bottom that is healthy and rash-free! If you must know how Drypers keeps our baby's bottom pink and healthy, it is because the Wee Wee Dry contains 4-1 botanical extracts like Aloe Vera, Chamomile, Vitamin E, and Olive Extract!

Travelling with ease
We travel around our neighboring countries quite a bit, so it is essential for us to know that our usual baby necessities could be found when we travel too. It beats carrying bigger luggage stuffed with diapers and other baby things halfway across the world. So easy it is to travel and know that the brands you use can be found even if you walk into a foreign supermarket and your child's comfort and likes are not compromised! We have found the same type and size diapers in other countries that delivers the same promise like the ones we use in Singapore which is so comforting to me and my children.

Flaps that stick, but do not destroy
Apart from absorbency, another thing that we were very particular about our diapers is the type of side flaps they had. We have tried those really sticky ones that stuck on, and was not reusable. Sometimes, we had to check on the diapers and the moment we pulled a flap out, it meant changing the entire diaper which was such a wastage and unnecessary. When our baby grew a little older, he started to pull on those flaps himself, so it really mattered the kind of flaps these diapers had. Drypers Wee Wee Dry has flexi-tapes that are reusable and allows multiple refastening, and it is useful to know that it is resistant to talcum powder too! Gone are the days we needed to throw a diaper just because the flaps were fiddled with!

Design, it helps excite the children!
Did I also mention that our children are absolutely besotted with their diaper designs? Each time we brought home packs of Drypers, they would run to it and ask "What color are the diapers now? What picture does it have?" Their favorites include the orange stars (Small), the purple elephants (extra large) and the green birds (double extra large)! I like the fact that the designs are kept simple yet classy, one that does not scream "Diaper alert" when donning a white outfit, yet keeps the children excitable about wearing a pretty diaper!

Being a home based photographer, I use my children as photography subjects almost every other day. In fact, half of the photographs I shoot my kids in are of those they are most happy and comfortable, and let's just say they are always in the comfort of just their Drypers during those moments!

In addition, Drypers has all you need and want in being the parent that is equipped with all the right skills and advice. They have a Facebook page to allow you to know more parenting tips, be engaged in activities like family days (Drypers Little Day Out) and competitions that might just win you some goodies!

And if you need a sample to hop onto the Drypers bandwagon, the nice people at Drypers would be more than willing to send you some. All you need to do is fill in some simple details here.

Drypers is very pro-family, and that is what I like most about it. They help you get the basic things right, just so you can spend more time on things that actually matter. :)

Make your everyday moments more rewarding by taking part in the "Today, Moments Matter" photo contest and win up to $5,000 in cash! Have fun!

Disclaimer : This is a sponsored post by Drypers Singapore. We received products for user experience purposes. All opinions are truly my own. 

Good Cop the grandparents, Bad Cop the parents. Inconsistency in parenting and how to deal with it.

Do you sometimes feel that ever since your parents or in-laws have been promoted to grandparents, their disciplinary methods and ideals on bringing up a child change too?

I was having a heated conversation with my mother in the car the other day, about encouraging my children to eat their breakfast/lunch/dinner without the need for the television to be running. We have very strict rules over television watching at home. Most days, our boys are only allowed to about an hour of screen time. That too, what they watch are highly filtered by us. We only allow age appropriate shows that portray the correct educational and moral values.

So our debate started when I complained about how my sons are taking a ridiculously long time to finish their meals these days. They refuse to remain seated, and would rather play catch with food stored in their mouths for the longest times. I have tried all kinds of methods to hasten their chewing speeds, like buying fun types of spoons, singing catchy chewy songs together and even rewarding every meal with raisins, fruits and jelly but all has failed quite miserably.

My mother then went on to say then maybe I should let them watch television during mealtime, because that at least would keep them seated and perhaps get them to eat a little faster too. I went from half asleep, to all awake in five seconds. Did I just hear my mother, the disciplinarian mistress tell me to allow my children to eat and watch television at the same time? This was the same woman who kept me in the kitchen, away from all toys and the television until I finished every spoonful of my meal. I think I was deprived of playtime for a good half of the day every single day just because I was a slow eater. To think she was capable of even suggesting that I should close both eyes and relent to screen time during mealtimes. Whatever happened to being firm and consistent with our parenting ways?

My husband and I both parent in the same consistent and firm manner. We are what you call authoritative parents, we establish rules and guidelines that our children are expected to follow. However, we are democratic in the way that we are often responsive to our children's concerns and needs. Of course, we try our very best each time to negotiate and come to terms where both parties are happy. For example, our sons eat their dinner and we reward them with something that they would like to indulge in thereafter. It is a win-win situation for us all.

I still see no need in relenting to screen time during mealtimes, and I refuse to budge despite my mother's reasoning especially in our household. I know for a fact that she indulges the kids with screen time during mealtimes when they are over at her place, and there is little I can do when I am not around physically. It disturbs me that my children are granted leniency each time they are away from me, because it would mean that there is inconsistency in their disciplining methods which leaves them confused and ultimately misbehaving thinking that they can get away with it. Luckily, this only happens twice a week for when I drop them off for a wee bit of school time.

Of course, my parents are not the only grandparents who are guilty of this. My parents-in-law are too. Then again, which grandparent does not ultimately spoil their grandchildren? It is like grandparents have an innate tendency to play good cop, while the parents remain the bad cop. So, what can we do to help inconsistency in parenting styles with different caretakers?

1. Pick your battles
Know when to fuss over these disciplinary details. How often your child is in contact with them and how strong the bond is plays a part in how much the child will lean towards the discipline actions. So if like me, your kids only get the occasional bending of rules while at granny's place, just learn to live and let live. It's easier to keep the relationship healthy between parent and grandparent.

2. Enforce rules, but be willing to bend some of them... sometimes.
It is crucial in letting your child know that rules are important and a way of life. Children need people who set rules and eventually rules that they know they can depend on because that is how they value expectations and build social standards. It is good for children to know that while there are certain rules that cannot be broken, there is a time and place for negotiations in certain situations. Explaining that you are aware there is a deviation from the norm lets kids know that the change in schedule is not random and that you ultimately decide whether there is basis for negotiation.

The Real Truth: What every new mother needs to know about breastfeeding and join in the Big- B Event in Singapore!

I admit I was one of those pregnant mothers who was all too happy about having that first child that the thought of feeding him never really came to mind. I was too engrossed in all the necessities like the everyday wear, milk bottles because everybody seemed to be getting them, and those swaddles that seemed like an absolute must! During my last few check-ups, my gynaecology asked if I had any idea if I was going to breastfeed when my child is born, I gave a "uhuh, yeah I think so... " and did not think too much about it after. I have always thought breastfeeding is just breastfeeding, what is there to learn or prepare myself for? Labour is way more important than breastfeeding, isn't it? After all, every movie I have watched and book I have read told me to be prepared for D-Day and the Big Push. Nobody mentioned about breastfeeding, and nobody told me what to expect.

So I thought labour was the worse deal in every pregnancy. All that talk about the pushing, and the tearing, and crazy 10cm dilation. I was wrong. Nothing... absolutely nothing prepared me for the crazy roller-coaster ride I was to embark on my breastfeeding journey. And I repeat, nothing... absolutely nothing was more overwhelming and sacred than this new motherhood experience.

After my baby was born, the nurse came up to me and asked if I intended to breastfeed him, and I nodded my head in total conviction. After all, I had read everywhere that breast is best and every mother including myself wanted the very best for our child. Since that day I intended to breastfeed, I tried every means and ways to do it right, do it proper and do it to my best ability. Trust me, breastfeeding is not an easy task but with determination and perseverance, you might just exceed your breastfeeding expectation.

Here are my top ten breastfeeding advice/warnings/notes for every new mother who is intending to give the child the very best of nature, breast milk!

When you decide to breastfeed, make it a decision you made by yourself. Do not make the decision to breastfeed out of peer pressure, just because you mother-in-law insists that you do so, or your friends pressure you to do so. Insist on breastfeeding because YOU believe in giving the best to your child. I breastfed both my children till they were past one, and I can safely say they were as healthy as beans all the way till they were past two years old. They never suffered from fever, and very rarely succumbed to the common cold. So breastfeed for your child, and no one else and I can assure that your baby will benefit from it tremendously. And so will you too. 

In my opinion, breastfeeding woes are often swept under the carpet by experienced mothers, magazine articles and pregnancy books. Very often, breastfeeding pain and trauma is overshadowed by the actual labour itself. Everyone talks about the pain of labour, but never the pain of breastfeeding. When I had given birth and was introduced to breastfeeding, I got a rude shock to the technicalities of breastfeeding. How the lactation consultant and nurses will squeeze your nipple with absolutely no mercy, how you would cry in agony each time the baby refuses to latch on, and how your nipples would crack till it bled. Nope, we never hear about that. But I insist on sharing with you all this because I personally know plenty of women whom because of the trauma and shock, refused to carry on breastfeeding from there on. 

Yes, it may be tough. It may be painful. It may even be the worst thing you have ever experienced. But I promise you, things will get better from the first week onwards. The baby will start feeding with ease. Your nipples would have hardened and become more resistant to pain. And the milk flow will be abundant. All that will come with patience, my friend.

It is always thought that breastfeeding is a mother thing. No one can breastfeed but the mother herself. That is not true. While the milk ultimately comes from the mother, everyone can play a part in breastfeeding by being the best support the mother can have. I owe my successful breastfeeding to my husband who woke up each time I breastfed, cried with me each time my nipples cracked and bled, and even held cold cabbage to my breasts to relieve the pain no matter how ridiculous I looked. My mother too would prioritize my breastfeeding sessions over everything, and would even turn away any guests when they wanted to see my newborn. Just because she felt I needed peace and quiet while breastfeeding the baby. It is simple gestures like these that help make your breastfeeding experience an easier journey.

You cannot do this alone, so be open and ask for support from your loved ones. You'll be pleasantly surprised how having support would spur you on while you breastfeed.

I was first introduced to The Cradle and the Football Hold in the first few days in the hospital and these are two very common breastfeeding positions. However, I found it very tiring to continue with these positions as the baby got bigger and heavier. Even when the baby was a newborn, it was particularly uncomfortable to be sitting up for long periods and for the many times you had to feed the baby.

In the end, I learnt to lie sideways and breastfeed my baby and I dare say it was the most comfortable and least pressurizing way to feed him. By lying sideways, the contact between baby and mother is close, and mother is allowed to feel at ease and in total comfort because she is lying down. Mothers need to be well rested and healthy in order for the baby to feel likewise. And by parallel feeding, you can definitely achiever that. Many a times, I found myself dozing off as the baby fed, and ultimately he would sleep in that position too. That way, I was often feeling very energized and never had the need to complain of the lack of sleep ever. We co-slept throughout my breastfeeding journey, and I have to really say that co-sleeping was the number one strategy that helped myself persevere through it all.

I have seen plenty of mothers go down the formula route all because they bought they one tin for back-up. What started as "baby is probably still a little hungry, maybe one bottle of milk can fill him up" would drag until it was two bottles a day, and then three bottles a day, and finally baby is fully formula fed. Hence, I always believed that mothers who intend to breastfeed should never ever even sneak a glance at the formula milk section in the supermarket. Believe in yourself that your super power milk is filling your baby up. He is crying because he wants to comfort suckle and feel soothed, not because he is still hungry. Let your baby comfort suckle as many times as he wants, it beats stuffing him with a pacifier because there is nothing quite like a mother's touch.

Yes, there is nothing quite like a mother's touch and there is definitely no bond like the breastfeeding bond. Imagine this, your baby feeds every half an hour therefore every half an hour, you get yourself topless and latches your baby on. Whichever breastfeeding position you choose, your heartbeat is close by your baby's face and his nose sniffs in every scent of you. You hug him tight, and your breast secures his every need. This happens for like 27848947348 times a day. How can anything beat a bond like that, really?

I was one of the guilty ones who panicked the day my baby was born and there was zilch milk coming out. No amount of squeezing and mock latching on was making the milk spill. So I panicked, and I worried if my baby was going to starve. In actual fact, your baby has got reserves in him to last about three days till your milk comes in. God is great, He makes things happen for a reason. And the very reason He gave reserves was because He made our milk flow start a little later. Still, never let the chance to latch on your baby pass because with every latch, the baby's strong suction will just make your flow come a little earlier than expected. Mine came after two days for my first child, and after three days for my second child so I promise you, your milk flow will definitely arrive by the time you leave the hospital.

I really need not reiterate how exorbitantly priced milk formula can be. One tin costs about $70, and it lasts about a week. Do your calculations wisely. Is that money worth spending when you can enjoy all the benefits of breastfeeding? From the bond, to the money saved, breastfeeding is every bit the wiser choice. Plus, what I particularly liked about breastfeeding is the hassle it saved me. I did not have to sterilise bottles while making a baby cry in hunger. I did not have to lug hot water, milk powder and sterilised bottles when I am out on the go. As long as you have your breast and your baby, everything is good to go. So I am very glad to have been a mother who travelled without having to carry a half ton diaper bag.

Like I mentioned before, I used to think that breastfeeding was just putting the baby to the breast and everything would happen naturally. It did not work that way. There are many things preparation could do to ease your breastfeeding journey like getting that nipple cream ready, and keeping good stock of breast pads to prevent leakage and embarrassing moments in public. If you have the time, consult a lactation consultant to understand and expect better the dos and donts of breastfeeding. Otherwise, there are many online articles like 7 Practical Ways To Prepare For Breastfeeding and How to Prepare for Breastfeeding that may help you cope better with breastfeeding.

Last but not least, many have come up to me and asked what is the secret to good milk flow, and healthy breastfeeding. There is only one secret to all that. LATCH, LATCH, LATCH. The more you latch the baby on, the more your milk flow increases. My lactation consultant used to emphasize "supply meets demand" all the time. There is no need for anything else but latching on if you wish to breastfeed long and healthy. And that is why I highly advocate against the use of bottles and pacifiers. Let your baby latch on frequently, and for as long as he wants. It really helps! I breastfed without the use of breast pumps for the whole two years that I did so. I breastfed him on planes, boats, in malls and even in the hot sun with nothing but a nursing bib. At home, I would rest my body and mind by latching him on in a co-sleeping position for as many times a day so you can imagine how well rested I was and it was all thanks to my baby who loved to latch on as much as I loved to latch him on.

With that said, I am very proud to be and have been a breastfeeding mother to both my sons. I wished I can do so much more to help more mothers breastfeed and more children be breastfed. It is after all the single most beautiful part of nature that has been bestowed upon us mothers. I am very pleased to be a part of the Big-B Event that is a mass breastfeeding challenge that not only aspires to break the current record of 250 mothers simultaneously breastfeeding, but also to raise awareness of breastfeeding as a natural way of feeding your child. The Big B Event is happening 31 August at Singapore Expo Hall 6A. Be a part of the spectacular moment of the first-ever Big B event being entered into the Singapore Book of Records. Sign up to be a part of this exciting challenge now! To register, email your particulars to info@redtreegroup.orgor call 62950810.

The Big-B event is in conjunction with the Parents World Exhibition. Parents can look forward to exclusive deals from exhibitors and clinch parenting essentials at massive discounts from big brands like Abbott, Mead Johnson, Dumex, Drypers, Pampers, Huggies, PET PET and lots more. Filled with exciting programmes, a wide range of booths as well as attractive prizes to be won, parents and families are sure to have a blast shopping and having fun!

It does not matter if you are breastfeeding, intend to breastfeed or have breastfed, we all belong to a group of mummies who need each other for support in achieving our breastfeeding goal so let's join the Big-B event and leave our mark!

This is a sponsored blog post, however all thoughts and opinions are my own, unless stated.