However since I became a mom, it's like the norm to actually mix along with the ladies who are fellow mommies. I am fine with that, given that I fall under the new mom category who would appreciate a bit of child talk with women who share the same experiences. So yes, I have gained a lot more lady friends since I have stepped into the world of motherhood. While it can be a win-win situation to have more mommy friends (ie. more playdates, more info, more help), there are some "moms" that I really appreciate not getting too close for comfort. These are the PCDOJ Moms as I would like to term them.
Eg1. P-mom feeds child organic food. She brings her child to a birthday party and starts fussing about the food being unhealthy, inorganic, non-nutritiousness. P-mom then stops her child from eating any food served from the party, and proceeds on giving the hosts a talk on the importance of serving good healthy food.
Eg2. P-mom carries infant in her sling while at a friend's housewarming event. Other guests come up to P-mom and says "oh how cute she is. Can I carry her?" P-mom turns her child away and says "Oh I am so sorry, but my child doesn't like strangers"
Basically whatever your child can do, their child can do better.
Eg1. D-mom is being told her child seems to experience a little stranger anxiety. D-mom goes home, reads up an encyclopedia of social behavior in children, and states her case the next time she sees the same friend who made that remark. "Dr Sears says that my child is perfectly normal, she is NOT anti-social and there really is no need for socializing at her age! The most important bond is between her and myself, and I make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both me and my baby. So I adopt attachment parenting, and my child is growing up fine".
Okay, back off my friend. All you said was the child seemed a little anxious with strangers! Geez, lighten up yes?
Other examples would include teachers telling parents on autistic or ADHD tendencies in their children, to which parents will rebutt "There is nothing wrong with my child. He is fine at home under my care!"
Also, know your target audience. If you are around people who do not have children, or are not interested in children, the last thing they want to hear is how you spent the last 5 months through motherhood, and how traumatizing your labor was.
"So, you mean you went through C-section/Elective C-Section? Gee, mothers who go through natural birth are those who really go through the real idea of motherhood! We are the ones who went through pain for our children!" What do you know about the pain of labor? All u did was to go through an operation."
"You don't breastfeed? But don't you want the best for your child? Breastmilk is the best for your child! Only a mother who breastfeeds develops a close bond with the baby, you don't know what you're missing out."
"SAHMs are mothers who truly want the best for their children. Mothers who work are vain and selfish!"
"Sahms don't do much for their kids. oh please, all they do is stay at home!"
"Look at that mom, she is screaming at her child in public. I should teach her a thing or two about gentle parenting!"
Oh spare me the holier-than-thou crap please. You do your mom thing, and I'll do mine, okay?
Having said that, I still appreciate my mom friends. I love those who can take a joke or two knowing how we all either fall into one category or another at times. But if you are the kind of mom who falls into all the categories at a single time, then well.... I wouldn't be organizing that play date with you after all!